those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
