U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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