don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
