I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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