i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
