I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
