I hate all girls vehemently.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
