i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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