Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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