it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
