Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
