His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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