So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
