Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
