He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
