I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
