Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
