; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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