dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Randomize
