And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
