I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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