Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
