Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
