Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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