Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
