btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
