I hope mine doesn't look like that
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
