I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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