Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
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