Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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