she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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