My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
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