Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
