the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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