I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
