so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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