WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize