I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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