Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
