when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
