I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You ruined the universe
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
