Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
