hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Randomize
