no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
