I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
