You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
