You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
