Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
