My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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