just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
