Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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