When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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