I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
