I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
