her vagine was all disorganized.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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