im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I love you.
Bad choice
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
