No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
