have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
