I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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