I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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