She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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