So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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