As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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