If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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