we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My liver just had a heart attack.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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