Well douche your snatch and let's go!
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize