hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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