Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
