You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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