What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
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